I will always remember

My second home

I've been officially done with High school for 9 days. It feels so much longer. While I was sitting there in the cafeteria at school during our graduation ceremony, listening to all the speeches and songs and so on that was being said, I looked around. I looked at the teacher. I looked at my fellow classmates. I looked at the people that I used to call my best friends. I looked at the building. It was weird, sitting there and knowing I would never be back. At least not for the same reasons. It felt weird knowing that some of these people that I have talked to everyday, I might never see again.

And you know what the weirdest thing was? I wasn't sad. Maybe a little bit, but really sad, as in crying? No, no way.

I have met so many great people at that school. I've had times I will never forget with those people and at that school. The school is filled with great memories. But it is also filled with bad memories. Memories of the people that forgot me as soon as I was out of sight. One year away from it really makes you find out who your true friends are. It's a place where I could be surrounded by people, but still feel completely alone. I could sit and talk with what I thought was my friends, but before I was even halfway through what I was saying, everyone was listening to someone else. Can you blame me for feeling lonely?

But I will focus on the good memories. The time were Silje and I was supposed to be studying for our final oral exam, when we started to try to kick things into the trash can instead. The first day I was back again after my exchange year, something was said in class and I look over at Thorbjørn. No words are needed the looks said it all, and we started laughing. The countless times I've been sitting in the cafeteria with Caline and just talked.

Because the two years that I've spent there, has taught me a lot, and they have also given me a lot of things I will remember for the rest of my life. It has made me who I am today, and I really do like this school. I will miss it, and all the people in it.

Your first love, always and forever.

"You will never forget your first love" She was tired of hearing that sentence. If she wouldn't forget her first love, if she always would love the first person she ever loved, how was she gonna get a husband? Especially when she was left with this feeling, the feeling that the reason things had turned out bad, wasn't because of him not loving her anymore, but something that pulled them apart; distance.

Everything was suppose to be so perfect when she came back. He had written it to her so many times how it was gonna be the best time for him, and she would agree. All those "I love you" she had read, was finally going to be heard. All those nights spent missing him would be so worth it.

But it wasn't. Something was wrong, something wasn't right. He was distant, he was acting different than last time they had seen each other. Different than what he had said he would. This wasn't how she had imagined it.

All those times he had told her he loved her, had it just been a lie? -No, she told herself. It couldn't be. The feelings had been there, the love between them so strong. Maybe that was it, the love was too strong for both of them to handle. Yeah, that's what she told herself, that's the reason things were as they were.

Before she came back, he had told her how he was scared. Excited to see her again, but scared. Scared that her feelings for him had changed, scared that he would loose her. - How ironic, she thought to herself. She was the one who had lost him, not the other way around. She was the one left alone now, she was the one who cried herself to sleep all those nights. He had moved on.

She didn't give her heart out to just anybody, she was picky. She barely opened up to people, but it had been something about him. For the first time, she let someone in. For the first time, she let a person know absolutely everything about her. For the first time, she fell in love. Oh, if she had only known from the beginning how it would end. From now on she would definitely be careful about opening her heart for guys. Her heart had been broken so bad, and she thought it would never heal.

So maybe they were right after all, those people that told her she would never forget her first love. Maybe she didn't want to forget him. Her first boyfriend. Her first kiss. And her first love. But what got her through those rough days? It was the image from her future, the image where she was holding a baby boy. Her very own baby boy. Who was the father? She had no idea, and she didn't care at the time. It showed her that she would find someone. It could be her first love, or the rich husband she had dreamed about. She didn't care. Her happy ending would come, some day.

we<3it.com

Do you know...

- The feeling when you can finally sit down with a book outside in the sun without any worries?
- The feeling when you can play around in your backyard with your dog and just smile?
- The feeling you get when you see your final grades, and you accomplished you goal?
- The feeling after you last written exam, and you think you did good on it?

Yeah, that's a great feeling, you feel free, careless and happy. A feeling that hasn't been felt for while. Under all the studying and worrying about you future, you are finally able to relax and enjoy the good weather. that feeling doesn't come too often, so you have no choice but let the world spin around while you are just enjoying the feeling of being free from worries for a little while

The American and the Norwegian version - which is better?

Graduation. I think that is something everyone is looking forward to, no matter where in the world you are. Graduation ends your childhood. Graduation shows that you are done with school. After graduation, you start your way towards a carrier. After graduation, you have to start choosing what you want with your life and where you want to end up.

Graduation is celebrated in different ways, and there is not a lot of people who gets to experience two of them. I am one of the lucky ones. Last year I had a graduation. Right now I am kind of in the middle of one. Two graduations. Two very different graduations. Part of the reason is because they mean two completely different things for me though.

Graduation in the US was not my graduation. To me, graduation in the States was more of an ending to my exchange year. An ending to a year with so many ups and downs. I wasn't done with school, I still had one year left. And now, that year has gone by. Now I'm sitting here almost ready to really graduate. But what is the difference?

In the States, the main focus is on the ceremony. Being a senior in high school sure is a good thing. Senior this, senior that. But when it all comes down to it, it's the ceremony that is the big thing. You march in to the stadium, or the gym, or wherever the ceremony is held. You sit there, with your square cap and long gown, knowing that your parents are right there, watching it all. You listen to the different speeches. Finally you walk over that stage to receive your diploma from the smiling principal. You move the tassel from one side to the  other. And finally it's your turn to throw your cap in the air, like you've seen happen so many times before, finally it was your turn. And then it's over. No more high school. Ever. Of course you can't forget the graduation parties though. And some people go on senior trips as well.  But I got the feeling that the graduation ceremony is what is the big thing, that's what everyone looks forward to.

 When the Russ-time finally starts, it starts off with a big party, a kick-off. And for some people, that is how the whole Russ-time is. Party every night. But there is a lot of other things to do. A list of stupid things that will give us weird things in our long tassel. Some of them are harmless. Like sitting under our desk for 45 minutes, one class. Taking the piano in the cafeteria and sing for everyone during lunch. Or using bread as shoes for a whole day. Go to an 11th grader, give him/her a boxer/bra and tell them that last night was the best. Having a smart conversation with a lamp post for 15 minutes. Harmless, fun and embarrassing. But you also have those that can be dangerous. Like drinking a bottle of wine in less than 40 minutes. Go three days without sleeping.

All this, the partying and doing those stupid stuff, all happens in three weeks. Some places more, some places less. At the weekends, there big arrangements for all of the Russ's (Seniors) Parties, concerts, everything at one place.  People getting wasted and drunk and everyone just having the time of their lives. And this all happens before we have our final exams. After the exams, we have our ceremony. A small thing at school with speech from the principal, someone might sing a song, and then we receive a copy of our grades. That is our diploma. And we get it all online, so the grades we receive at the ceremony, is not the finished one, it lacks the grades of our final exams, which won't come until the end of July.

Which one do I like the best? The Norwegian one, of course. It might be because that's the graduation I've heard about my whole life, it's what I've grown up with. But also because of everything that goes on in those three weeks. It was by far, much better than the graduation I had in the States. Although, I had a great time being a senior there as well, and getting to experience that. The Norwegian one is the best.

The American version and the Norwegian version

I don't wanna hold my pillow. I wanna hold you

And once again, it was Friday night. It had been a long but great week. She hadn't been sitting at home like this for a long time. Finally she understood how much it meant to her to actually get out and do something. The last three weekends had been nothing but party, both Fridays and Saturdays, and she figured out now, that that is what she should be doing every weekend. Just so that she didn't have to feel this way.

She was upset, maybe even a little hurt. She was confused. She didn't know what to do. She could be out with her friends all day, and have the time of her life, but when she got home and back to her room, the feelings sure came back. The feelings that told her she had messed up, that she had done something wrong. That it was all her fault. Although she knew deep inside that it wasn't true, that was how she felt. And she couldn't help it. The feelings only came during the weekends, because that was the only time she actually thought about it. It was always on her mind, he was always on her mind. Of course it was because of a he. What else would it be?

Now that she wasn't out on a party, the feelings and thoughts came back. The thoughts that told her it was only because of the distance. The thoughts that told her she shouldn't let go just yet, even if that was what he had done. She didn't know it yet, but she would never be able to completely let go. No matter what happened, she wouldn't do it. She couldn't do it. But that was something she didn't know right now. Right now she only blamed the distance for ruining it all, destroying something that once had made her so completely happy. It was gone, and she had to just live with it. But it was hard

Because love is a really strong feeling.

The missing piece

You finally see the ending coming. You've put so much work into it lately, and you just can't wait to be done, and feel happy about what you accomplished. It's finally complete. Or so you think. Only four more to go now. But wait, what was that?

Crap

Only three pieces are left. You put them on, but it's not right. The last one isn't there anymore, and it's never gonna be complete. You can make your own pieces that will fit, but they will never fit perfectly. Simply because it's not the missing piece.

All the pieces were there from the beginning. At the time it was all messed up, and when you've finally got it all in order, one important piece is missin.

The puzzle will never be done. There will always be this nagging feeling inside you. Telling you over and over that the puzzle isn't complete. Unless you find the right piece.

But it's too late, it's lost. Gone forever. The puzzle will never be finished the way it's supposed to be.